New Diet

A friend of mine sent me details on the hottest new diet craze:

“I was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart and was in line to checkout. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

On impulse, I told her that no, and that I was starting The Purina Diet again. Although I probably shouldn’t because I’d ended up in the hospital last time, but that I’d lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy who was behind her. Horrified, she asked if ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me.

I told her no; I’d been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.

I thought the guy was going to have help as he laughingly staggered to the door.”

One thought on “New Diet

  1. Ahh that was good shiat.
    It reminded me of the time I saw this dog licking its balls at the Hippo. This dude was like “Man, I wish I could do that”. I told him, “You go for it, but I am pretty sure he will bite you in the face.”

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